出 錯 戲 劇 第2季 第5集 The Cornley Drama Festival Part 2 康利戲劇節 (下)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 晚安 各位女士先生們
康利邪惡節 And welcome back to the Cornley Drama Festival. 歡迎回到 康利戲劇節
Once again, apologies for the sign. 再次為這個標誌道歉
We have had a fantastic response to the festival with seven 我們對這個節日的反響非常好 有7個
people writing in to tell us they enjoyed the show, 人寫信告訴我們他們喜歡這個節目
and thousands of other people also writing in. 還有成千上萬的其他人也在寫信
I've given the horse too many tranquilisers. 我給了馬太多的鎮靜劑
That is not my problem tonight. 那不是我今晚的問題
Because first up, we are in the hands of Sandra Wilkinson. 因為首先 我們掌握在桑德拉·威爾金森手中
Distinct. 明顯的
Unique. 獨特的
Moist. 濕潤的
What do these words have in common? 這些詞有什麼共同點?
They've all been used to describe my voice, so I've written 他們都被用來形容我的聲音 所以我寫了
a radio play to present this evening, not as some have suggested 今晚要播放的廣播劇 不像有些人建議的那樣
because I am in the running to be the new voice of Marks and Spencers, 因為我正在競選成為馬克斯和史賓瑟(馬莎百貨)的新代言人
although I am down to the final 80, 雖然我跌到了最後的80位
but because I would love nothing more than to share with you 但因為我只想與你分享
how audio drama is made. 有聲劇是如何製作的
So, please enjoy A Talented Woman Awakens. 所以 請享受 一個有天分的女人覺醒
Well, that roast beef was absolutely delicious, Dad. 嗯 那烤牛肉絕對很好吃 爸爸
It certainly was, Deborah. 當然是 黛博拉
I adored those Yorkshire puddings almost as much as the crisp 我喜歡那些約克郡布丁幾乎和脆皮布丁一樣
golden potatoes and creamy yet fiery horseradish sauce, 2.99. 金馬鈴薯和奶油辣根醬 2.99元
I'll clear the dishes. 我會收拾碗筷
Deborah, I meant to tell you, 黛博拉 我想告訴你
I'll be hosting the talent show at the village fete this year. 今年我將在村遊樂會上主持才藝表演
Well, you should enter that, darling, you're ever so talented. 好吧 你應該進入那個 親愛的 你太有才華了
I couldn't do that, Mum. 我做不到 媽媽
Of course you could, sweetheart. 當然可以 親愛的
There's more to you than your sensational looks. 對你來說 不僅僅是你出眾的外表
You also have a fantastic speaking voice, 你說話的聲音也很棒
and you own your own Pitchtone B+ podcasting microphone. 並且您擁有自己的 音調 B+ 播客麥克風
Let me pour you a cup of tea, Dad. 爸爸 讓我給你倒杯茶
Sugar? Two, please. 糖? 兩顆 請
Milk? Just a spot. 牛奶? 只要一點
Maybe you're right, maybe I should enter the talent competition. 或許你是對的 或許我該參加才藝大賽
I just wish I... 我只是希望我...
had more confidence. 有更多的信心
You are so dreadfully humble. 你非常謙虛
And you're ever so talented. 而你總是那麼有才華
Now, come on, Dad, it's well past... 現在 來吧 爸爸 超過...
your bedtime. Onto the stairlift. 你的就寢時間 上樓梯
Now, let's get you tucked in. 現在 讓我們把你蓋好被子
Goodnight, Dad. I'll shut the door. 晚安 爸爸 我會關上門
See you in the morning. 早上見
cock-a-doodle-doo! 公雞啼叫聲
Good morning, Mum. 早安 媽媽
Morning, darling. You're ever so talented. 早安 親愛的 你總是那麼有才華
Come in. 進來吧
Buenos Dias, señorita. 布宜諾斯·迪亞斯 小姐
Miguel, how are you, my dear? 米格爾 親愛的 你好嗎?
I am sad because I know I will never be enough for you. 我很難過 因為我知道我永遠配不上你
Oh, Miguel, our relationship is too passionate. 哦 米格爾 我們的關係太熱情了
I have seen there is to be a talent show at the village fete. 我已經看到有一場才藝表演在村遊樂會上
Soon I will lose you to celebrity. 很快我就會失去你 給娛樂界名人
My talent is too... 我的天分太...
My talent is too wild to be... 我的天分太狂野了...
Huh! 哼!
My talent is too wild to be caged. I must perform. 我的天分太狂野 不能被關在籠子裡 我必須表演
Come, mount this stallion with me. We shall ride to the village fete. 來 和我一起騎上這匹駿馬 我們將乘車前往村遊樂會
Wake up. 醒來
Clippity-clop, clippity-clop! Neigh! 馬蹄聲 馬蹄聲! 嘶!
Neigh! 嘶!
Here we are at the village fete. 在這裡 我們在村遊樂會
We have arrived in time for the hoedown. 我們及時趕到霍當舞(民間舞蹈)了
I do hope everyone is enjoying the Barnesbury village fete so far. 我確實希望到目前為止 每個人都喜歡巴恩斯伯里村的遊樂會
Yeah, just brilliant. 是的 簡直太棒了
And huge congratulations to Benny Webber who correctly spelt 並熱烈祝賀班尼·韋伯正確拼寫
the word incompetent to win this year's spelling bee. 以無能這個字 贏了今年的拼字比賽
I-N-C-O-M-M-P-
-E-T-E-N -T-
- E-N-T-E-N-T... E.
Incommpentent entente. 無能的友好協定
And next up in the talent show, 在接下來的才藝表演中
we have Peter Bodkin with his one-man clog dance. 我們有彼得·博德金和他的單人木屐舞
A round of applause for Peter. 為彼得鼓掌
Next up will be my very own daughter, who will be 接下來將是我自己的女兒 她將是
reciting the entirety of Alfred Lord Tennyson's The Lady of Shallot. 背誦全部內容的 阿爾弗雷德·丁尼生 勳爵的《夏洛特之女》 (1833年和1842年出版的 2個版本抒情詩)
Are you ready to perform, my darling? 你準備好表演了嗎 親愛的?
I'm a little bit nervous. 我有點緊張
Don't be nervous. 不用緊張
Look at the beautiful sunshine and listen to the birds singing. 看美麗的陽光 聽鳥兒的歌唱
Ladies and gentlemen, here she is, 女士先生們 她來了
showcasing her extraordinary vocal range, Deborah Davies. 展示她非凡的音域 黛博拉·戴維斯
Aaaargh! 啊!
Fantastic. 太棒了
And the scores are in. And the winner is... 評分出來了 獲勝者是...
Deborah Davies. A round of applause, please. 黛博拉·戴維斯 請大家鼓掌
There is a storm brewing! 一場風暴正在醞釀!
Thank you for coming. 謝謝你的到來
And now a word of congratulations from our mayor. 現在 向您表示祝賀由我們的市長
I think this is the beginning of an extraordinary career. 我認為這是非凡職業生涯的開始
Advertising executives and voice-over agents 廣告主管和配音員
will be calling you every day. 每天都會給你打電話
On 077 009 00 381. 在 077 009 00 381
My talent has been awakened. 我的天分覺醒了
Next up is my... 接下來是我的...
Next up is my play. I wrote it myself. 接下來是我的戲 我自己寫的
I would like to thank Trevor for providing the special effects. 我要感謝崔弗提供的特效
My play is called... 我的戲叫...
Toothpaste, 1.99. 牙膏 1.99元
Sorry, that's a receipt. 對不起 那是收據
My play is called... 我的戲叫...
Toothpaste, 1.69. 牙膏 1.69元
Enjoy. 享受
Hello, how much is this toothpaste? 你好 這個牙膏多少錢?
1.69. 1.69元
Well, I think we can all agree 好吧 我想我們都同意
there are still some cuts to be found in that play. 該劇中仍有一些剪輯可以找到
Next up, we have Annie Twilloil. 接下來 我們有 安妮·堤維歐
Now, people often say we take things too seriously at the Cornley 現在 人們常說我們把事情看得太嚴重了 在康利
Drama Society but that wasn't always the case. 戲劇社 但情況並非總是如此
The original troupe performed a comedy as recently as 1979. 最初的劇團表演了一部喜劇 在最近1979年
So, we thought it would be nice to step outside our comfort zone 所以 我們認為會很好走出舒適區
and revisit that laugh out loud romp tonight. 並重溫歡聲笑語今晚
This farce has been classified as Grade C Bawdy 這部鬧劇已被列為 C級淫穢幽默
so some of the more graphic jokes have had to be censored 所以一些更形象的笑話不得不被審查
to comply with broadcasting decency guidelines. 遵守廣播規範準則
So, please enjoy the classic '70s farce entitled 所以 請欣賞名為 70年代的經典鬧劇
An Upstanding Member in a Tight Spot in the Back Office. 正直成員在緊張位置上的後勤辦公室
Good morning, Mr Carmichael. 早安 卡邁克爾先生
Good morning, Miss Pennyforth. 早安 潘尼沃斯小姐
Ooh, frightfully windy day today, isn't it? Brrrrr! 哦 今天刮風可怕 不是嗎? 嗚!
Miss Pennyforth, have you got a date tonight? 潘尼沃斯小姐 你今晚有約會嗎?
Oh, yes, sir, a whole bag full. 哦 是的 先生 滿滿一袋
What is she like! Now, tell me, what appointments do I have today? 她喜歡什麼! 現在 告訴我 我今天有什麼預訂行程?
Well, at 11 o'clock, we'll be having a bit of how's your father? 嗯 在11點整 我們會聊聊你父親過得如何?
Oh. 哦
And at 11:05, you've got a meeting with the Archbishop of Canterbury. 在11:05 您將與坎特伯雷大主教會面
So, we've only got five minutes together? 所以 我們只有5分鐘的時間?
Yes, I thought that would give me 是的 我以為那會給我
four minutes to catch up on paperwork. 4分鐘趕上文書工作
What is she like! 她喜歡什麼!
Don't forget, the Archbishop is terrified of bees. 不要忘記 大主教害怕蜜蜂
So I best remove these. 所以我最好拿到這些
Good thinking, Miss Pennyforth. 好主意 潘尼沃斯小姐
And the Prince of Wales is coming around at 11:20 威爾士親王要來 在11:20
to present you with your OBE. 向您展示您的大英帝國官佐勳章
The Prince of Wales? 威爾士親王?
We best cancel my meeting with Norman Norde, the nudist Lord. 我們最好取消會面與諾曼·諾德 裸體主義者
Yes, Mr Carmichael. 是的 卡邁克爾先生
Dr Rod Problem dropped round these little blue pills? 羅德博士問題丟下這些藍色的小藥丸?
Sorry. 對不起
Little blue pills. 藍色的小藥丸
Those are for my downstairs problem. 那些是針對我樓下的問題
The leak in the basement? 地下室漏水?
I'll leave them in this drinks cabinet next 下次我會把它們留在這個飲料櫃裡
to your anti-anxiety medication. 到你的抗焦慮藥
Careful, these bottles look just alike. 小心 這些瓶子看起來一模一樣
I better go and put on a tie. 我最好去打個領帶
Let me help you with that. 讓我幫你解決這個問題
Thank you, Miss Pennyforth. 謝謝你 潘尼沃斯小姐
BLEEP! Ooh! 嗶! 哦!
Righty-oh, then. Time to clean these windows. 對-哦 那麼 是時候清潔這些窗戶了
Oh, these blooming bees. 哦 這些該死的蜜蜂
I-N-C-O-M-P-E-T-E-N -T, incompetent. I-N-C-O-M-P-E-T-E-N -T 無能
What are you doing? 你在幹嘛?
I'm the spelling bees. 我是拼字比賽(蜜蜂)
Hey, hey, hey, you stop buzzing in my face! Out of it! Out of it! 嘿 嘿 嘿 你別在我臉上嗡嗡作響! 滾開! 滾開!
You, pack it in! 你 別鬧了!
Blooming 'eck! Someone has left the window open. 該死的怎麼回事! 有人把窗戶打開了
Now there's soap suds all over the back office. 現在 肥皂水到處都是在整個後勤辦公室裡
I best get in there and clean it up before someone slips over. 我最好進入那裡並清理它 在有人滑倒之前
What a palaver! 多麼不必要的麻煩!
Oh, Mrs Carmichael, Leader of the Opposition and my wife. 哦 卡邁克爾夫人 反對黨領袖和我的妻子
Hope you don't mind, I've popped in your back corridor. Passage. 希望你不要介意 我已經出現在你的後走廊 通道
I've popped in your back passage. 我突然出現在你的直腸
You're early. 你早到了
Makes a change, it's usually you who gets here early. Comes. 做出改變 通常是你早到這裡 出來了
Would you like a drink? 你想喝點什麼嗎?
Oh, yes, you know I love a strong one. 哦 是的 你知道我喜歡堅強的人
A stiff one. 一個僵硬的
Oooooh! 哦!
Why are there soap suds all over this floor? 為什麼這個地板上到處都是肥皂水?
My coat is soaked through. 我的外套濕透了
Oh, dear, I don't think things could get any worse. 哦 親愛的 我不認為事情會變得更糟
My mother is coming to stay for the weekend. 我媽媽要來過週末
Looks like I spoke too soon. 看來我說得太早了
I brought you these flowers for you to give to her. 我給你帶來了這些花 你要送給她
God, she's awake. Where are the tranquilisers? 天啊 馬醒了 鎮靜劑在哪裡?
Well, I best get back to the Commons. Goodbye, darling. 好吧 我最好回到下議院 再見 親愛的
It's 11 o'clock. 現在是11點
Time for us BLEEP. 我們的時間到了
I've forgotten my bag. 我忘記了我的包包
Quickly, Miss Pennyforth, hide in the wardrobe. 潘尼沃斯小姐 趕快躲到衣櫃裡去
Oh, Mr Carmichael. Oh! Oh! Oooh! Ooh! 哦 卡邁克爾先生 哦! 哦! 哦! 哦!
I've forgotten my bag. 我忘記了我的包包
Oh. 哦
I don't think things could get any worse. 我不認為事情會變得更糟
Everybody, stand back! 大家退後!
Oh, crikey, I just bought these shoes from the cobblers. 哦 哎呀 我剛買了這雙鞋從鞋匠那裡
And they don't half squeak. 他們不會半吱吱叫
Get mopping, the Prince of Wales is coming to give me my O... 拖地吧 威爾士親王要來給我...
SHOES SQUEAK ..OBE. And we can't have soap suds all over the place. 吱吱聲...大英帝國官佐勳章 而且我們不能到處都是肥皂泡沫
You've smashed the window! 你砸碎了窗戶!
Oh, it's let in a gale. 哦 大風來了
Hey! 嘿!
It's blown off our trousers. 它是從我們的褲子上吹出來的
The Archbishop! Quick, hide in the wardrobe! 大主教! 快 躲進衣櫃!
Morning, Carmichael. Cor blimey, why aren't you wearing trousers, Carmichael? 早安 卡邁克爾 可愛的顏色 你為什麼不穿褲子 卡邁克爾?
Er... Pink polka dots are all the rage, Archbishop. 呃...粉紅圓點很流行 大主教
I'm pleased to hear it. Wow! 我很高興聽到它 哇!
Now, Carmichael, I have to tell you about something that 現在 卡邁克爾 我必須告訴你一些事情
happened to me on the way here. 來這裡的路上發生在我身上
I came out of my front door and there were two BLEEP standing there, 我從我的前門出來 有2個嗶 站在那裡
BLEEP with BLEEP... right up the cloisters. 嗶 嗶... 就在迴廊上
Now, Carmichael, I'm here to talk to you about not building that 現在 卡邁克爾 我來這裡是想和你談談不要建造那個
atheist car park over Canterbury Cathedral. 坎特伯雷大教堂上空的無神論者汽車
But what's this? 但這是什麼?
A contract from Car Parks Limited about building an atheist car 合約來自停車場有限公司的關於建造無神論汽車
park over Canterbury Cathedral? 停車場在坎特伯雷大教堂?
This is a disgrace, Carmichael. 這是一種恥辱 卡邁克爾
I'm telephoning the Vatican and when they get hold of you, 我正在給梵蒂岡打電話 當他們找到你時
you'll be sorrier than I was when I saw the Pope BLEEP. 你會比我看到教皇 嗶 時更難過
I said... BLEEP... 我說... 嗶...
raw buttocks. 真的臀部
Oh, Mr Carmichael, I'm starting to panic. 哦 卡邁克爾先生 我開始恐慌了
I don't like being in tight spaces. 我不喜歡待在狹小的空間裡
Nor do I. 我也是
Here, take one of my anti -anxiety pills. 來 吃一顆我的抗焦慮藥
Mr Carmichael! 卡邁克爾先生!
Quick! 快的!
Ooooh! 哦!
I've forgotten my hat. 我忘記戴帽子了
Here you go, darling. 給你 親愛的
Carmichael! 卡邁克爾!
Oh, dear, we forgot to cancel my meeting with Norman Norde, 哦 親愛的 我們忘了取消與諾曼·諾德的會議
the nudist Lord. 裸體主義者
What's going on, Carmichael? 怎麼回事 卡邁克爾?
Oooh-oooh-ooh! 喔-喔-喔!
What was all that about, Carmichael? 這到底是怎麼回事 卡邁克爾?
Don't go near the window. 不要靠近窗戶
Hey! 嘿!
Hey, wha...! 嘿 什麼...！
Whaaaaargh! Ooh! 哇啊! 哦!
Oh, it's blown off my trousers! 哦 它被我的褲子吹走了!
Oh! Ooh! 哦! 哦!
How embarrassing! 多麼尷尬!
Oh! 哦!
How embarrassing. 多麼尷尬
Sorry about that, Archbishop. 抱歉 大主教
Please accept these flowers with my apologies. 抱歉 請收下這些花
Thank you, Carmichael. 謝謝你 卡邁克爾
But what's that noise? 但那是什麼噪音?
Oh, no! 不好了!
Incompetent! 無能!
Bee! Bee! Bee! 蜜蜂! 蜜蜂! 蜜蜂!
Bees! Bees! 蜜蜂! 蜜蜂!
I'm being chased by a bee. 我被蜜蜂追了
Here! Take one of my anti -anxiety pills. 這裡! 吃一顆我的抗焦慮藥
Thank you, Carmichael. Could you give me a pill? 謝謝你 卡邁克爾 你能給我一顆藥嗎?
One. Could you give me one? 一 你能給我一份嗎?
Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! 哦! 哦! 哦!
Oooh! Oooh! 哦! 哦!
Oh, for the horse! 哦 為了馬!
I'm here, Carmichael. 我在這裡 卡邁克爾
A French maid? A window cleaner? 法國女傭? 窗戶清潔工?
The Archbishop of Canterbury? And the Leader of the Opposition? 坎特伯雷大主教? 和反對黨領袖?
All at it in the Chief Whip's office? 都在大黨鞭的辦公室裡?
After seeing this, I can't possibly give you your OBE. 看到這個之後 我不可能給你你的大英帝國官佐勳章
I'll have to give you a knighthood! 我得給你封騎士身份!
Heh-heh-heh! 嘻-嘻-嘻!
Thank you. 謝謝你
That was a farce. 那是一場鬧劇
Now, as you can see, we do appear to be down a few members of the cast. 現在 正如您所看到的 我們似乎確實擊敗了一些演員
Trevor and I will be taking them to A&E now. But do not fear... 崔弗和我現在要帶他們去急診室 但是不要害怕...
But do not fear, the festival will continue with Jonathan's piece. 但不要害怕 戲劇節將繼續播放喬納森的作品
It's a musical ensemble number, which-which-which... 這是一個音樂合奏編號 哪-哪-哪個...
which would have included the whole cast. 這將包括整個演員陣容
And it's about a circus. Enjoy. 它是關於馬戲團的 享受
Roll-up, roll-up, come and enjoy the show! 快來看啊 快來看啊 快來看表演吧!
Jimmy, Missy, Tony, Matty, 吉米 小姐 東尼 馬蒂
Ricky, Jenny! OK! 瑞奇 珍妮! 好啊!
Come on, guys, let's have a song. 來吧 大家 讓我們唱一首歌
I'll play the keys, you sing along. 我會彈奏琴鍵 你跟著唱
Piano? 鋼琴?
No? 不?
OK! 好的!
thrills and delights Prepare to see wonders, 驚險刺激 準備去看奇蹟吧
Magic and marvels, incredible sights 魔法與奇蹟 令人難以置信的景象
I'm Jimmy the juggler 我是魔術師吉米
I'm Missy the mime 我是啞劇小姐
riding the line I'm Tony on the unicycle 騎線 我是東尼騎獨輪車
with magic, of course I'm Magical Matty 當然有魔法 我是魔法馬蒂
And Rodeo Ricky, here with my horse 還有 牛仔競技表演 瑞奇 和我的馬在一起
I'll throw you to bits I'm Jenny the gymnast 我會把你摔成碎片 我是體操運動員珍妮
When you watch me doing the splits... Oh! 當你看著我做劈腿時... 哦!
Oh, my God. Amazing. 我的天啊 太不可思議了
What a talent. 多麼有才華
..We are the ensemble ..我們是合奏
We work as a team 我們作為一個團隊工作
We are the ensemble 我們是合奏
Together, a circus supreme... 一起 一個馬戲團最好的...
Take it, Jimmy, with your amazing juggling! 接受吧 吉米 用你驚人的雜耍!
..What goes up must come down ..人生有起必有落
When you're Jimmy the juggler turn it around... 當你是吉米時 變戲法的人把它轉過來...
Wow, that's amazing. Incredible. 哇 太神奇了 極好的
is my thing ..Throwing and catching 是我的事 ..投和接
But when I'm not juggling, I like to sing... Aargh! 但是當我不玩雜耍時 我喜歡唱歌... 啊!
Now, go, Missy, with your mime. 現在 去吧 小姐 帶著你的啞劇
Hell, yeah! 該死 是的!
Now, Tony, show us your skills on the unicycle. 現在 東尼 向我們展示你的獨輪車技巧
..You gotta know the motion ..你必須知道動作
Yeah, you gotta have a feel 是的 你得要有感覺
that's only one wheel When you try to ride a cycle 那只有一個輪子 當你嘗試騎獨輪車時
but my heart is made of steel My clothes are made of leather 但我的心是鋼鐵做的 我的衣服是皮革做的
I used to have a bicycle but things got real... 我曾經有一輛自行車 但事情變得真實...
Oh, God! 哦 天啊!
..We are the ensemble ..我們是劇團
We work as a team 我們作為一個團隊工作
We are the ensemble 我們是劇團
Together, a circus supreme... 一起 一個馬戲團最好的...
Now, Matty, marvel us with your magic. 現在 馬蒂 用你的魔法讓我們驚嘆
..We are the ensemble ..我們是劇團
We work as a team 我們工作如一個團隊
We are the ensemble 我們是劇團
Together, a circus supreme 一起 一個馬戲團最好的
Together, a circus supreeeeeeme! 一起 一個馬戲團最好好的!